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tianana1044

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 12:59am) | Search for a member

tianana1044

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tianana1044's page activity

Visits<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:52am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:12am<b>deeasnayfus</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 8:00am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm<b>Metzler31</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:11pm<b>cat_marie</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:29pm

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tianana1044's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (13536)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (5435)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47803) - you deserved it (18852)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (7001)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45186) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51731) - you deserved it (7185)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (20040)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

#21122058
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42261) - you deserved it (7008)

On 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm - health - by AnonymousAndSad (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (53754)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (4137)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51947) - you deserved it (4692)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (3242)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (19252)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML



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