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thrAsHeRr9081

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thrAsHeRr9081
  • Town/Country : Cape Girardeau, MO, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2739
  • Number of comments : 457
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thrAsHeRr9081 : NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.I'm from Las Vegas, but have been living in Cape since 2009. I am an aspiring assassin that deals drugs legally for a living and I'm going to school to teach school. I married the llama of my dreams on September 29, 2012 and we have a zoo in our house. My 2 1/2 year old African Grey is more intelligent than you. My dog is just flat out better. YouTube.com/thrasher9081

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thrAsHeRr9081's favorite FMLs

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

#17952669
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (2571)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm - love - by maninpain - Kenya

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (15232)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (11095)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (11362)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

#17618254
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (26650)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:20am - intimacy - by WithoutLove (man) - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (4190)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML

#17283905
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35700) - you deserved it (4598)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Shelbitchh - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

#17250020
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (8742)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (2629)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (10570)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

#16833815
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (47175)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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