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About thrAsHeRr9081 : NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.I'm from Las Vegas, but have been living in Cape since 2009. I am an aspiring assassin that deals drugs legally for a living and I'm going to school to teach school. I married the llama of my dreams on September 29, 2012 and we have a zoo in our house. My 2 1/2 year old African Grey is more intelligent than you. My dog is just flat out better. YouTube.com/thrasher9081
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Today, dad finally decidd to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If u ever decide to have sex, picture face like this" and pointd to his face,hich had a creepy, intense stare!! He just ruind sex 4 me!! Forever!! FML
Today , I cummd home from a weekend trip with some friends , an walkd straight in on mah girlfriend cheating on me!! She burst into tears an began apologizing!! Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought u were coming back tomorrow." mega FML
today I went to visit mah grandpa. He has an easily excited dog who barreled into mah freshly broken knee. I felt mah knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. real FML
Today... for the first time... I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer... I was ecstatic. Later...hen I was in the shower... my brother snuck in the bathroom... yelled "Napalm strike!" an threw our cat over the shower curtain lyk a furry grenade from hell. FML
Today , I mat an old friand , withhom I hava a complicatd history and wa hookd up. Ha cummd bafora wa avan startd. In his slaap , ha pushd ma out of tha bd. Whan I woka up , ha had pad himsalf in his slaap. Glad I lat that ship sail. FML
looool Today, I wore mah brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, mah dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought mah chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where yur tits went." FML
Friday 27 March 2015