About thrAsHeRr9081 : NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.
I'm from Las Vegas, but have been living in Cape since 2009. I deal drugs legally for a living. I'm an Xbox addict and an aspiring assassin. I'm going to school to teach school. I married the llama of my dreams on September 29, 2012.
YouTube.com/thrasher9081
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Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17906) - you deserved it (2155)
On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out that my husband and my cat have something in common; they both like to lick themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16719) - you deserved it (1930)
On 06/19/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (9080)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (1681)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband texted me while I was sitting on the toilet, asking "Are you alright in there?" Apparently our thin walls and my constipation grunts made him worried that I was dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16478) - you deserved it (2944)
On 06/16/2012 at 7:18am - health - by FibreNeeded (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19141) - you deserved it (1891)
On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12982) - you deserved it (8925)
On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines
Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15946) - you deserved it (1190)
On 05/29/2012 at 7:40am - money - by brunurb (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (1610)
On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (1479)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (1949)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11681) - you deserved it (17926)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (6929)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (3101)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20457) - you deserved it (5449)
On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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