thrAsHeRr9081

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Offline (the 11/21/2015 at 6:34pm)

thrAsHeRr9081

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4307
  • Number of comments : 458
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thrAsHeRr9081 : NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.I'm from Las Vegas, but have been living in Cape since 2009. I am an aspiring assassin that deals drugs legally for a living and I'm going to school to teach school. I married the llama of my dreams on September 29, 2012 and we have a zoo in our house. My 2 1/2 year old African Grey is more intelligent than you. My dog is just flat out better. YouTube.com/thrasher9081

thrAsHeRr9081's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:31pm<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:56pm<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 11:18am<b>fuckme_328385</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 7:17am<b>bakry</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 2:01pm<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:31pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:36am<b>BigBootyButch</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 10:46pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:47am<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:16am<b>Snickers4</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:51pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 6:32pm<b>cwenboo</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:05pm<b>austinsixx1994</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 11:07pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Imsorrywhatdidu</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:13am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:23am<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 6:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:31am<b>austinsixx1994</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 5:07am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:34pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 3:18am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:55pm<b>bbs21</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:54am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 7:31am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:23pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:38am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 6:08pm<b>izzyjaspers</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:07am

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thrAsHeRr9081's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

by gassy / 02/12/2013 at 9:18am / United States / Love

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

by Stoopiddogbot / 02/12/2013 at 8:18am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Animals

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

by sadguyme / 10/22/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

by MIND BLOWING / 10/20/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

by murp / 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

by sadness / 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

by whatswrongwithit?:( / 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

by PerpetuallyHappy / 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 1:25pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work