About thrAsHeRr9081 : NOTHING IS TRUE; EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.
I'm from Las Vegas, but have been living in Cape since 2009. I deal drugs legally for a living. I'm an Xbox addict and an aspiring assassin. I'm going to school to teach school. I married the llama of my dreams on September 29, 2012.
YouTube.com/thrasher9081
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Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21364)
On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19130) - you deserved it (2403)
On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (1107)
On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (6908)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12599) - you deserved it (3811)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13860) - you deserved it (3197)
On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7888) - you deserved it (28230)
On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15296) - you deserved it (1638)
On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (1181)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (2404)
On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15499) - you deserved it (925)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17191) - you deserved it (984)
On 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (3524)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (1885)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10125) - you deserved it (8193)
On 08/12/2012 at 1:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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