Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thiswhitey

Search for a member

thiswhitey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 639
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About thiswhitey : Hi (: I don't message people too often on fml because I'm not on it too often and there is no notification. If you want to talk I'm open, but just warning you, I may not reply for days.

thiswhitey's page activity

Visits<b>utrax</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:10pm<b>trc1999</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:34pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:14am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:23am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:32pm<b>markusmay16</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:40pm<b>colerean</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:05am<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:44pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:19am<b>jad0016</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 11:57am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:37am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:18am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:23pm<b>lax_kid38</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 9:47pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:10pm

thiswhitey's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of thiswhitey's badges

thiswhitey's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (21667)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (4177)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (5899)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML

#21107568
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34704) - you deserved it (4142)

On 04/08/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (46679)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45661) - you deserved it (6696)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42072) - you deserved it (3708)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47891) - you deserved it (6040)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (6151)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (37406)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: