About thisiscool19 : I like tacos.
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thisiscool19's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 11:49am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/01/2014 at 10:08am / United States / Transportation
Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML
by emilyparker / 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML
by shart up, your puns suck / 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids
Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML
by Holyguacamoly / 05/27/2014 at 7:15am / Iceland / Animals
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by salmone / 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML
by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…