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thisgirl2u's favorite FMLs
by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Lindsay / 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
by agstadra / 12/08/2010 at 10:24am / Canada / Transportation
Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / United States / Animals
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love
by vstan / 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML
by Aciliveth / 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
by thornrose22 / 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by wtfrelationship / 10/21/2009 at 12:07am / Singapore / Love
Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML
by pandabear93 / 09/04/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…