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thischick15

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thischick15

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  • Number of visits : 58
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thischick15's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (3127)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (10566)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27210) - you deserved it (8171)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (2455)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (7408)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (40556)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (29634) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (3071)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML

#16106237
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (6736)

On 05/09/2011 at 4:30pm - misc - by starcatch777 - United States

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

#15451762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39422) - you deserved it (9741)

On 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by Cxisbest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

#14729337
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5945) - you deserved it (34751)

On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (81575)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

#13854165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (6481)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

#12343499
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (5219)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)



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