About thisawkwardchick : "Give the love around, and back around it goes."
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thisawkwardchick's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work
by S. Bauer / 11/02/2011 at 9:50am / Portugal / Love
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
by scarlet / 05/09/2011 at 11:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to… Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too… Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My…