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thief1434

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thief1434

7Liked!

thief1434
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About thief1434 : "Cowards die many times in life, but the valiant taste of death but once."
~Julius Caesar (Shakespeare's J. Caesar)
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves."
~Cassius (Shakespeare's J. Caesar)

I run XC, I love languages (they're just so amazing!), and I love to read. :D
I'm open to talk about anything.

thief1434's page activity

Visits<b>euphoricness</b> - 9 hours ago<b>briewashere</b> - 11 hours ago<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - yesterday at 12:23pm<b>Chaotic_Cypher</b> - yesterday at 10:31am<b>RiceCrispies</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 2:43pm<b>quirkyred</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:06am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 12:20am<b>bayy1432</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Mrpolo_18</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 10:29am<b>RAH94</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:59am<b>Typicall</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:35pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:29pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:57pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:01pm<b>random_times1</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:54am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:43am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:45am

Liked!<b>coyotefox</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:45pm<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:17am<b>en0817</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 5:15am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:54am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:25am<b>hailleylynn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:02am<b>Selki</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:49am

thief1434's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of thief1434's badges

thief1434's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (2202)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (2649)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38461) - you deserved it (2233)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (13600)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (4680)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33066) - you deserved it (2694)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32490) - you deserved it (4310)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (17592)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (2556)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (3744)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

#21305749
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (2610)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by IHateProtesters (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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