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theycallmejadeee

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theycallmejadeee
  • Town/Country : Lake Charles, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 429
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About theycallmejadeee : My name is Ceason (pronounced season). I am a total grammar Nazi and I detest idiots, people who tlk lk ths, and most people who think they're smart, but in all actuality, it is but a figment of their imagination. For as the great Edgar Allan Poe puts it:
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
Just shoot me an email or message and I will hastily reply when I can.
P. S. I also find joy in the misfortune of others, hence why I reside here. (:

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theycallmejadeee's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9504) - you deserved it (20322)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21322) - you deserved it (1446)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18557) - you deserved it (3428)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you deserved it (31025)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (14616)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (24218)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (10676)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (5145)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19037) - you deserved it (2683)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18077) - you deserved it (23131)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (2386)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States



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