Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About theycallmejadeee : My name is Ceason (pronounced season). I am a total grammar Nazi and I detest idiots, people who tlk lk ths, and most people who think they're smart, but in all actuality, it is but a figment of their imagination. For as the great Edgar Allan Poe puts it:
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
Just shoot me an email or message and I will hastily reply when I can.
P. S. I also find joy in the misfortune of others, hence why I reside here. (:
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
Thursday 19 March 2015