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thexguyxnextdoor

Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

thexguyxnextdoor

3Liked!

thexguyxnextdoorthexguyxnextdoor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 April 1939 (75 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 436
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thexguyxnextdoor : A fat lion managed to eat everything about me. Dang.

thexguyxnextdoor's page activity

Visits<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:39am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:31am<b>AKCowboysFan</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:28pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:56pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:37pm<b>garage</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:14pm<b>brook823</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:04pm<b>orbit</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:27pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:51pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:31pm<b>Orphic</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:52pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:07pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:54am<b>_jasmine_davis_</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:02am<b>Donoboi</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:24am<b>JohnTheMermaid</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:46pm

Liked!<b>Adhdkid107</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:28pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:15am<b>abigailjane_</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:07am

thexguyxnextdoor's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of thexguyxnextdoor's badges

thexguyxnextdoor's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32448) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (7159)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35740) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

#21265875
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (7174)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28852) - you deserved it (42198)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (55069)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50481) - you deserved it (8708)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

#21175131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44835) - you deserved it (6210)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:31am - love - by mydatinglifesucks - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51688) - you deserved it (11579)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (48604)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (32469)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57598) - you deserved it (6961)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

#21019101
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (8914)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by CatLady - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45848) - you deserved it (9128)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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