thexguyxnextdoor

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Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 4:22am)

thexguyxnextdoor

4Fucked!

thexguyxnextdoorthexguyxnextdoor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 April 1939 (77 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thexguyxnextdoor : A fat lion managed to eat everything about me. Dang.

thexguyxnextdoor's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:30pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:26pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:24pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:25pm<b>LoganStar4</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:34pm<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:39am<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 12:31am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:56pm<b>garage</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:14pm<b>brook823</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:04pm<b>orbit</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:27pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:51pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:31pm<b>Orphic</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:52pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:07pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:54am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:25am<b>Adhdkid107</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:28pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:15am<b>abigailjane_</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:07am

thexguyxnextdoor's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of thexguyxnextdoor's badges

thexguyxnextdoor's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Love

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 4:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

by BaWanda / 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

by whoops / 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

by mydatinglifesucks / 06/15/2014 at 2:31am / United States / Love

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

by CatLady / 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy