Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thewhiteninja

Search for a member

thewhiteninja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 702
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

thewhiteninja's page activity

Visits<b>Rfads5</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:55pm<b>I_Die_Inside</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:13am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:10am<b>mcardinals74</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:35am

thewhiteninja's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

thewhiteninja's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (5232)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44091) - you deserved it (4450)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (54695)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (16833)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (20032)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10442) - you deserved it (51858)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35508) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6152) - you deserved it (32044)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML

#7020893
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9122) - you deserved it (19446)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (4890)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10519) - you deserved it (33261)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

#5996462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (4408)

On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML

#5876568
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9055) - you deserved it (48426)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39860) - you deserved it (2841)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20359) - you deserved it (42620)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: