thewhiteninja

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thewhiteninja

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1015
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thewhiteninja's page activity

Visits<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:31pm<b>potatomus62</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 10:49am<b>FordGirl98</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:42pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:03pm<b>Rfads5</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:55pm<b>I_Die_Inside</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:13am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:10am<b>mcardinals74</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:35am

thewhiteninja's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

thewhiteninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

by Austyn / 02/18/2011 at 2:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

by Hannah / 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

by S3R1AL K1LL3R X / 10/19/2010 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Love