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thewhiteknight

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  • Number of visits : 17
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thewhiteknight's favorite FMLs

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (53432)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43977) - you deserved it (8326)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33618) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13130) - you deserved it (41275)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62862) - you deserved it (8984)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (18945)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

#10645827
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6530) - you deserved it (49689)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8854) - you deserved it (33344)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

#1347981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (58658)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by panicromanceX3 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102514) - you deserved it (15076)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -



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