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theviper10118

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theviper10118

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 100
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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theviper10118's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33739) - you deserved it (5901)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (2521)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (3539)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20429) - you deserved it (1784)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56424) - you deserved it (10342)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (1947)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (1386)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (1649)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (2028)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

#19994423
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (5425)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

#19994415
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (1467)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7971) - you deserved it (46385)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20614) - you deserved it (3044)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States



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