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Offline (the 07/26/2016 at 9:07pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2451
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About thevelociraptor : Some things you could survive without knowing:

I like Astronomy, Japanese, and Law. I longboard, shoot, night is my day, I'm 5'10", and I have really long hair. I love music (journey, rudderless, acdc, metric, panic at the disco, def leopard, etc) and I misuse time on Netflix. I have recently taken up sign language due to a new deaf friend. Also, my blood is probably 25% coffee and I just go on FML to have a few laughs.

Anyway, have a good one!

thevelociraptor's page activity

Visits<b>stryder9090</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 12:10pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 10:39am<b>Sevarog</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 5:01am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 10:13pm<b>hahaholy</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 12:29am<b>nreed32</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 12:37am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 6:59pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 2:30pm<b>Savagephy</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 7:33pm<b>JoffArtist</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 2:55am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:36pm<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 10:14am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:28pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:27am<b>sevennfam</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 11:50pm<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:53pm<b>zxtq</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:55am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:18am

Fucked!<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:13pm<b>A_Wilson0311</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 10:23pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:04pm<b>oOMissBelleOo</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:12am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 4:47pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:50am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:01pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:26am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:06am<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:56pm<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:20pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 4:22pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 6:46am<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:19pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:21pm

thevelociraptor's FML badges


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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thevelociraptor's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

by battle1 / 07/17/2015 at 7:00am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

by Ain't going nowhere / 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

by fuck right off / 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

by PyroSam / 12/12/2014 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek