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thevelociraptor

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thevelociraptor

249Fucked!

thevelociraptorthevelociraptor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1707
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About thevelociraptor : Some things you could survive without knowing:

I like astronomy and human sciences, I longboard, shoot, night is my day, I'm 5'9",and I have really long hair. I also love music (journey, rudderless, phantom of the opera, acdc, metric, def leopard, etc), I misuse time on Netflix, I believe nice guys finish first, and I just go on FML to have a few laughs.

Anyway, have a good one! (And thanks for the plethora of "fucks")

thevelociraptor's page activity

Visits<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:01pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:24am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:32pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:49am<b>onlyFuge17</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:36pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Dwarfed</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:10am<b>Sezreal</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:51pm<b>brandonwong</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:30pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:42am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:38am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:38pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:07am<b>stain4</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:54am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:10pm<b>kawayi</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:43pm

Fucked!<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:24am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 6:53pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:24am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:55pm<b>vegemute</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:21pm<b>TheDog6</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:30am<b>mehrozemohsin</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:26am<b>ERICK579</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:33am<b>huntington</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:32am<b>QBChris43</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>zonik21</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:51am<b>SpartanMerc</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:47pm<b>Himynameisrodney</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:35am<b>zainman13</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 6:50am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:13am<b>ronenlior</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:33am<b>Matheo</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:45am<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:36pm

thevelociraptor's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of thevelociraptor's badges

thevelociraptor's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

#21442921
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (3710)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:00am - intimacy - by battle1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

#21431204
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (1529)

On 06/24/2015 at 2:49pm - work - by Ain't going nowhere - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (2505)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45984) - you deserved it (3357)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (2016)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46405) - you deserved it (4805)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65691) - you deserved it (32900)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (32149)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



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