thetwinkyuho

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Offline (the 03/26/2016 at 7:33pm)

thetwinkyuho

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2513
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thetwinkyuho's page activity

Visits<b>sugarshane007</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 11:44pm

thetwinkyuho's FML badges

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thetwinkyuho's favorite FMLs

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

by Ashley Marshburn / 10/17/2010 at 9:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

by hickhick / 10/17/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

by married / 10/16/2010 at 8:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

by ahddib / 10/13/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

by Icey_dan1 / 10/10/2010 at 11:16am / Transportation

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

by northernlass / 10/01/2010 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation