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thetwinkyuho

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thetwinkyuho
  • Town/Country : Sachse, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1862
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thetwinkyuho's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

#13480134
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22619) - you deserved it (11783)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:37am - intimacy - by hickhick (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (6175)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8973) - you deserved it (38428)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

#13439564
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (8881)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by ahddib - United States (Alabama)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (7927)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

#13415492
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (3337)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (21647)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7402) - you deserved it (40737)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49587) - you deserved it (5334)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (6789)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

#13275274
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (27864)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by northernlass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (42621)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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