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thetwinkyuho

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thetwinkyuho
  • Town/Country : Sachse, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1851
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thetwinkyuho's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (8807)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

#13934801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:29am - intimacy - by shopper242 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

#13842104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (3790)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by sad gf -

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (4119)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (28456)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43592) - you deserved it (16155)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (3670)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

#13590794
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm - intimacy - by shiznit - United States (Florida)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (40302)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (33834)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML

#13512603
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (8716)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (4934)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

#13485553
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (5400)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18445) - you deserved it (24608)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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