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thetwinkyuho

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thetwinkyuho
  • Town/Country : Sachse, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1848
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thetwinkyuho's favorite FMLs

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67069) - you deserved it (6316)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (3646)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46723) - you deserved it (8128)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (9297)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too funny". FML

#14386335
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (5343)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4965)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

#14335175
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (2054)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35237) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (5720)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19068) - you deserved it (79169)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32517) - you deserved it (2870)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

#14130272
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2539)

On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (5371)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (6872)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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