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thetwinkyuho

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thetwinkyuho
  • Town/Country : Sachse, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1854
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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thetwinkyuho's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (12609)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35150) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13875) - you deserved it (33917)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (5830)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50229) - you deserved it (6335)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

#16727847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40738) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13635) - you deserved it (50509)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (10623)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (6859)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13604) - you deserved it (69106)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14938) - you deserved it (72843)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53264) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49527) - you deserved it (16932)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66062) - you deserved it (3342)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (204204)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



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