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thetruerellim

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thetruerellim
  • Town/Country : Lafayette, U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 40
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About thetruerellim : Hello I'm Jordan

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thetruerellim's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (8089)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
199 comments

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (10577)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (5492)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52084) - you deserved it (3464)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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