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thestoryofmylyf

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thestoryofmylyf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 383
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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thestoryofmylyf's page activity

Visits<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:03am<b>Shrouds</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 5:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 7:12pm

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thestoryofmylyf's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (2129)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (2021)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (5697)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

#20026951
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12110) - you deserved it (22477)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (2982)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5869) - you deserved it (30696)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (9041)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (5983)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24118) - you deserved it (3638)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27557) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

#19407529
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (6411)

On 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by KatieB (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10953) - you deserved it (19572)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

#19328317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (4144)

On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (5843)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (31459)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States



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