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thestoryofmylyf's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
thestoryofmylyf's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML
by fuck me / 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML
by Thors_Hammer9999 / 11/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by quit fucking up my life / 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by smiley1014 / 11/18/2013 at 4:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by thecodecat / 11/15/2013 at 7:13am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by AshlynnPrime / 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2013 at 6:39am / Miscellaneous
by LockedOut / 11/02/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Love
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health
Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML
by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by / 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 6:57am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by zzfreakshow / 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…