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thestoryofmylyf

Offline (the 08/12/2015 at 6:44am) | Search for a member

thestoryofmylyf

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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thestoryofmylyf's page activity

Visits<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:33pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:23am<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:03am<b>Shrouds</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 5:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 7:12pm

Fucked!<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:21pm

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thestoryofmylyf's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33750) - you deserved it (15431)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46475) - you deserved it (6804)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (58583)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45950) - you deserved it (4334)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46492) - you deserved it (7093)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50864) - you deserved it (5313)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49327) - you deserved it (7273)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54520) - you deserved it (12327)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62674) - you deserved it (4592)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (8432)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47842) - you deserved it (6767)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42282) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

#20973740
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (3450)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML



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