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Offline (the 07/13/2015 at 9:57am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 973
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About thespiantess : I'm a 17 year old future crazy cat lady from Portugal and I'm not cool enough to write a funny About Me... Did you know that a duck's penis is shaped like a corkscrew?

@teresalealfaria on Instagram

thespiantess's page activity

Visits<b>brianna1494</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 1:32pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:52am<b>joco4</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 2:27am<b>xXl_Exodus_lXx</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:20am<b>wil1029</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:59pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:27pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 2:09am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:18pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:25pm<b>spinster5</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:19am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:40am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 7:28pm<b>Adolf_Hipster13</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:19am<b>That_Guy1583</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:33am<b>vet1</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:35pm<b>andv888</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:21pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:00am<b>Kamikazek</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:21am

Fucked!<b>Adolf_Hipster13</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:19am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:55pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:17am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:42am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09am<b>jacobdunn8700</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:09pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:33am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:26am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:19am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:31am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:37pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>gabechriswill</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:38pm<b>aron666</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:18pm<b>skyttlz</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:26am<b>Elesai</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:16am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:30am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:39am

thespiantess's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of thespiantess's badges

thespiantess's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 6:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

by thenewgirl29 / 02/05/2015 at 11:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

by Studying is for crazy people. / 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

by no / 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

by Oops / 09/26/2011 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

by Mirorbo / 06/11/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

by Evil_Egbert / 02/12/2009 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love