Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 07/13/2015 at 9:57am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 772
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About thespiantess : I'm a 17 year old future crazy cat lady from Portugal and I'm not cool enough to write a funny About Me... Did you know that a duck's penis is shaped like a corkscrew?

@teresalealfaria on Instagram

thespiantess's page activity

Visits<b>vet1</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:35pm<b>andv888</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:21pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:00am<b>Kamikazek</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:21am<b>potnooodle</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:57am<b>xninix</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:30am<b>RunIfYouCan</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:17am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:25pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:59am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:54am<b>jaysinlove</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:44pm<b>HerpityDerp</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:13pm<b>herofaircloth</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:24pm<b>razoray9</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:52am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:29am<b>trevorecb</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 11:27pm<b>bethanyhopkins</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:16pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:10pm

Fucked!<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:55pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:17am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:42am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09am<b>jacobdunn8700</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:09pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:33am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:26am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:19am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:31am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:37pm<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>gabechriswill</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:38pm<b>aron666</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:18pm<b>skyttlz</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:26am<b>Elesai</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:16am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:30am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:39am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:11am

thespiantess's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of thespiantess's badges

thespiantess's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44869) - you deserved it (20761)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19816) - you deserved it (37543)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52599) - you deserved it (4428)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (4030)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (3712)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (5264)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (7471)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46001) - you deserved it (3520)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Mirorbo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (5655)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66373) - you deserved it (3913)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (15990)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (758628) - you deserved it (62266)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23563) - you deserved it (52220)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML


I agree, your life sucks (175300) - you deserved it (50393)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: