About therosalina : Sup home skillet
Here are a few things about me:
I like most rock music, and my favorite band is System of a Down.
I ride dirt bikes, swim, and play volleyball.
Excessively poor grammar rustles my jimmies.
My favorite TV show is The Walking Dead.
I love video games, especially Skyrim, BioShock, Fallout, and Borderlands.
Sometimes I'm funny.
I'm pretty friendly.
About therosalina : Sup home skillet
therosalina's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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therosalina's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work
by wellthisisbad / 02/29/2016 at 7:27am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by not satisfied / 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML
by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML
by Upset / 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by HBSLICE / 02/02/2016 at 1:37pm / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML
by 404: Sanity Not Found / 01/27/2016 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 1:40am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML
by notmyfault / 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous