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thepunman

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thepunman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1751
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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thepunman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15946) - you deserved it (44587)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

#4767628
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34069) - you deserved it (1400)

On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (35168)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13782) - you deserved it (32438)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

#3877886
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62853) - you deserved it (4092)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65623) - you deserved it (11396)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (91880)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

#3203701
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (2581)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112980) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60771) - you deserved it (4808)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46897) - you deserved it (7492)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46897) - you deserved it (7492)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (73232)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10083) - you deserved it (60322)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

#1933237
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74048) - you deserved it (3218)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)



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