thepirate19

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thepirate19

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1068
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thepirate19's page activity

Visits<b>monsterblonde</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:00am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:02am<b>cabrillo56</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 9:53am<b>holysassafras</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 11:04pm<b>landonabele</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 10:21pm<b>Tari</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:06am<b>Bobissmall</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 11:44pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:28am<b>boopityboppity</b> - the 09/17/2010 at 3:45pm

thepirate19's FML badges

Mobility

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

thepirate19's favorite FMLs

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

by lprocter1982 / 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

by sarah / 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous