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thepirate19's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
by elisimo / 01/24/2012 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML
by superficialheart / 01/21/2012 at 6:59am / China / Transportation
by katie876 / 01/14/2012 at 8:34am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
by student414 / 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Geek
by Needsanewjob / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by nevasurprised / 01/10/2012 at 9:50am / Germany / Work
by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
by thathurt / 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
by sninapeters / 12/22/2011 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy
by MikeNick / 12/17/2011 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…