theonecasey

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Offline (the 06/17/2016 at 4:17am)

theonecasey

1Fucked!

theonecasey
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1283
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About theonecasey : I'm a turtle

theonecasey's page activity

Visits<b>EmZoWe</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 1:39am<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 11:43pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:53pm<b>NotSoMuchAnAngel</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 7:44pm<b>f36k</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 10:28pm<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 3:01pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 8:02pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:53am<b>devinthomas</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:33pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:07am<b>rookie3311</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 12:01pm<b>tomboy480</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:15pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:43pm<b>StripedFroggy</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:42am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:51pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:08pm<b>ayshas</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:06am<b>Bachiatari</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:39pm

Fucked!<b>devinthomas</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:33pm

theonecasey's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of theonecasey's badges

theonecasey's favorite FMLs

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

by Oops / 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

by a.white / 12/11/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

by Colby / 11/15/2013 at 11:59am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

by blargh / 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom / Kids