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theninja1800

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theninja1800
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  • Number of visits : 1644
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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theninja1800's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51472) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

#19462590
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (1685)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by clitty clitty bang bang (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (30220)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (3436)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15272) - you deserved it (43099)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of four years friend-zoned me while I was proposing to her. FML

#19449963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38899) - you deserved it (2575)

On 04/11/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by crjsej - United States (Texas)

Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
187 comments

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (1386)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (28878)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (20387)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (3029)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (50339)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7383) - you deserved it (49198) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

#18916162
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (4470)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:09pm - love - by soawkward - Canada (Quebec)



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