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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5858
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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theninja1800's page activity

Visits<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:19pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:23am<b>bookgirl_7</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 1:30am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 12:08pm<b>JakeQuake</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:58pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:08am<b>ShadowFlame275</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:40am<b>The_night_walker</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:03am<b>gghhffh</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 2:02am<b>IndieParadise</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 1:16am<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:43am<b>little_siren</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:35pm<b>eyunayev</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:28pm<b>WakkaWakka10</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 8:48pm<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 3:08pm<b>nichollelovins</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 1:37pm<b>Brando23</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:23pm

theninja1800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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theninja1800's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

by jll14 / 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm / Malaysia (Sabah) / Miscellaneous

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

by forever single, I guess / 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm / United States / Love

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 10:03am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 10:03am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm / United States (Oregon) / Work