Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theninja1800

Search for a member

theninja1800
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1684
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

theninja1800's last visitors

bookgirl_7madmaddi147WelshiteBooda_ShunThe_night_walkerMikaykayUnicornlittle_sireneyunayev

theninja1800's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of theninja1800's badges

theninja1800's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65351) - you deserved it (12158)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44533) - you deserved it (4697)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52322) - you deserved it (3228)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (2580)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76840) - you deserved it (10298)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80501) - you deserved it (7664)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45068) - you deserved it (3242)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (5848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57457) - you deserved it (2749)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (4705)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (9525)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (51385)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (117663)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51187) - you deserved it (6029)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49200) - you deserved it (22853)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: