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theninja1800

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theninja1800
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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theninja1800's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

#20122984
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (1051)

On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14309) - you deserved it (8161)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14872) - you deserved it (1380)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (2348)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (2100)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (2077)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18237) - you deserved it (1367)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:48pm - misc - by peterpeterpumpkineater (man) - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14599) - you deserved it (4957)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (4521)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I thought it would be funny to cut my white trash uncle's rat-tail off. He thought it would be funny to break three of my fingers. FML

#20090260
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5999) - you deserved it (34186)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by umadbrosky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (3393)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2527)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)



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