About thenewkid43 : Im naturally a quiet person, but am fun to be around and talk to once you get to know me.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (27903)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32729) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11293) - you deserved it (39199)
On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (25083)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (2884)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (4303)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (4202)
On 01/21/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by antwo - United States
Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7578) - you deserved it (29114)
On 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by sharky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (9386)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21877) - you deserved it (10754)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (2734)
On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (12883)
On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States
Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (2539)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (11932)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
