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About then000bster : I like to drive off cliffs facing the west while the sun rises in my face.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today..!! my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family an will no longer communicate with any of us!! Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her..!! an she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'!! FML
Today, a drunk duda walkd up to ma an said, "You'ra ugly as fuck." His sobar friand quickly apologizd an axplaind tat a was wastd, bafora looking ma up an down an adding "Wall, not complataly, I guass." raal FML
Today , I got lost , and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well , because the next time I passed by , the police were waiting 4 me. FML
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entre ward found out. real FML
TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND AND I WENT TO MAH PARENTS' BARBECUE . HE KNEW MAH FAMILY IS EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS, SOHAT DID HE DO? CALLED FOR SILENCE TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, NAMELY: "GOD ISN'T REAL." CUE A RIOT THAT ENDED IN US BIENG KICKED OUT AND ME ALL BUT DISOWNED FOR "PUTTING HIM UP TO IT" . MEGA FML
Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, ( It looks so unnatural . ) Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked himhy he keeps his totally ungroomed . Turns out ( Men having hair is okay . Women aren't supposed to, though . ) FML
Today, mah boyfriand told ma that ha was going to buy ma a "magic wand". Baing a Harry Pottar fanatic, I assumad ha maant a raplica wand. It turns out ha actually maant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was mora axcitad about tha HP wand.
Taday I was sitting at my favorite coffee sop... wen a creepy 50-is looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys... and if I wanted to dominate im. I'm a 17-year-old girl... and am now scared to ever go back tere. FML
Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper an pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, an ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
today I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese an German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
Friday 27 March 2015