themonesterman

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/12/2015 at 5:20am)

themonesterman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1654
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About themonesterman : Whaddya you need to know besides that I'm on FML? If its a burning question, which WILL NOT HAPPEN, msg me. Bitch.

themonesterman's page activity

Visits<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:06am<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:19pm<b>Pineapple_Salad</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:54am<b>dogshorsescats</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:51pm<b>sstahpp</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:56am<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:41am<b>Metashock</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:41am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:09pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:14pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:41pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:48am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:24am

themonesterman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of themonesterman's badges

themonesterman's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 10/03/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

by Clueless / 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

by randa / 04/19/2011 at 2:38am / Kids

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

by terrible person / 04/04/2011 at 5:29am / Love

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

by AwkwardWaitress / 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

by JulieClaire / 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm / Transportation

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

by bride2be / 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

by alice / 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

by redlips / 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy