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themonesterman

Offline (the 06/20/2015 at 2:28pm) | Search for a member

themonesterman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1161
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About themonesterman : Whaddya you need to know besides that I'm on FML? If its a burning question, which WILL NOT HAPPEN, msg me. Bitch.

themonesterman's page activity

Visits<b>dogshorsescats</b> - 7 hours ago<b>sstahpp</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:56am<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:41am<b>Metashock</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:41am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:09pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:14pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:41pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:48am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:24am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:59am<b>LeYeti</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:54pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:14pm

themonesterman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of themonesterman's badges

themonesterman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

#20853636
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39693) - you deserved it (2731)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:23pm - misc - by hello higher premiums, fuckwad (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53616) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44709) - you deserved it (5997)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (2909)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (4405)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45249) - you deserved it (4673)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

#18888313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (6430)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28976) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (30572)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14468) - you deserved it (35356)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18439) - you deserved it (37283)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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