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themonesterman

Offline (the 04/10/2014 at 4:45am) | Search for a member

themonesterman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 644
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About themonesterman : Whaddya you need to know besides that I'm on FML? If its a burning question, which WILL NOT HAPPEN, msg me. Bitch.

themonesterman's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:41am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:09pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:14pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:41pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:48am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:24am<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:17am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:59am<b>LeYeti</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:54pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:14pm<b>brixx</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:53pm<b>lexypaige</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:55pm<b>k_smitty</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:18am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 4:56am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:07pm<b>mydumblifesucks</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:20pm

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themonesterman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (4094)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43626) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

#18888313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (2997)

On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (2276)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15491) - you deserved it (29738)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (4955)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7206) - you deserved it (65758)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39349) - you deserved it (4224)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36028) - you deserved it (8618)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (51495)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8887) - you deserved it (26948)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (15406)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70586) - you deserved it (15315)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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