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themonesterman

Offline (the 06/20/2015 at 2:28pm) | Search for a member

themonesterman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About themonesterman : Whaddya you need to know besides that I'm on FML? If its a burning question, which WILL NOT HAPPEN, msg me. Bitch.

themonesterman's page activity

Visits<b>sstahpp</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:34pm<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:56am<b>MalcolmRodrigues</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:41am<b>Metashock</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:41am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 5:09pm<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:14pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:41pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:48am<b>louisianababe93</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 2:04am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:15pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:24am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:59am<b>LeYeti</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:54pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:14pm<b>brixx</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:53pm

themonesterman's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of themonesterman's badges

themonesterman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (56773)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (6577)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (47919)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43422) - you deserved it (8249)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (10058)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46961) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (4504)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53822) - you deserved it (32594)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (39574)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (8176) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (23561)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

#20979207
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (37573)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (7674)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)



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