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themollyfish

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themollyfish
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 423
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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themollyfish's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

#15006025
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22522) - you deserved it (8454)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5636) - you deserved it (57675)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

#15001242
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (4609)

On 02/16/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by oheyimsarahh - United States

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (10639)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (2400)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (3382)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44122) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

#14967945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (18406)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:34am - love - by alone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (44630)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (2228)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45477)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37306) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (25331)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)



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