thelionkingftw

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Offline (the 04/02/2016 at 12:27pm)

thelionkingftw

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1317
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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thelionkingftw's page activity

Visits<b>infinitemonkey</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:06am<b>dehvi</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:47am<b>BlackIce911</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:23pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:42pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:57pm<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:06pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:39pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:09am<b>JMichael</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:24am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 11:56pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 3:08pm<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:55am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:29pm<b>not_happening</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:57am<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:49am<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:49pm<b>germy21</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:37am

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thelionkingftw's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2014 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

by Snow-White / 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Animals

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

by Tattery / 07/03/2014 at 7:55pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

by fredfredburger / 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous