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thelionkingftw

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 10:33pm) | Search for a member

thelionkingftw

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  • Number of visits : 499
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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thelionkingftw's page activity

Visits<b>BlackIce911</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:23pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:42pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:57pm<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:06pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:39pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 4:09am<b>JMichael</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:24am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 11:56pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 3:08pm<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:55am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:29pm<b>not_happening</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:57am<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:49am<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:49pm<b>germy21</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 2:37am<b>jrock9093</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 2:16am

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thelionkingftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35372) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (5004)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52929) - you deserved it (7992)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50431) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (4473)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (16730)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (12184)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43725) - you deserved it (6289)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (4424)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40154) - you deserved it (4276)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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