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thelindseyyy

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thelindseyyy

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  • Number of visits : 1060
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thelindseyyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9057) - you deserved it (103704)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (4936)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (4936)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (350933)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

#4879215
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60274) - you deserved it (4540)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45758) - you deserved it (4522)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67845) - you deserved it (7614)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53212) - you deserved it (19907)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75792) - you deserved it (6559)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20582) - you deserved it (112839)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (53468)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML

#3944960
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (42748)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149107) - you deserved it (9355)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67214) - you deserved it (39409)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)



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