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thelindseyyy

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thelindseyyy

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  • Number of visits : 1053
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 9:13am<b>EmilyElisse</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:13am<b>Altair18</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 12:30pm<b>Senseless_487</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 3:23am<b>MissModelGirl</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:28am<b>tashag93</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 12:12am

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thelindseyyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
516 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15178) - you deserved it (237636)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (56123)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41237) - you deserved it (7597)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (9132)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23704) - you deserved it (2183)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (3801)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49982) - you deserved it (7894)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37215) - you deserved it (4274)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (2046)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18623) - you deserved it (32277)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87623) - you deserved it (14647)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9544) - you deserved it (32266)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chastised by the CEO in the middle of a management meeting for showing up late to work every day, despite being in my office before 9:00am every morning. It was my 5th day on the job and no one had bothered to tell me that the office opens at 8:00am, and not 9:00am. FML

#5542217
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15056) - you deserved it (35013)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

#5462375
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38071) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14911) - you deserved it (47738)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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