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50 favourites
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Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15741) - you deserved it (21511)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (12364)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16646) - you deserved it (52199)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61000) - you deserved it (7592)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5372) - you deserved it (43682)
On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (20987)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (4530)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -
Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (4530)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (27553)
On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60035) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (5161)
On 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (25496)
On 12/31/2010 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (3428)
On 12/27/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Username -
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (9805)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30034) - you deserved it (2310)
On 11/05/2010 at 5:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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