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50 favourites
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Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6523) - you deserved it (25957)
On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (3926)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (7796)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (7042)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (3553)
On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62969) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9862) - you deserved it (43842)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (82706)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (82706)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14810) - you deserved it (26887)
On 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15722) - you deserved it (21465)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (12351)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16621) - you deserved it (52116)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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