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50 favourites
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Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (86747)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12071) - you deserved it (54384)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (19903)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73436) - you deserved it (18288)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
I agree, your life sucks (73899) - you deserved it (4401)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (9637)
On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12791) - you deserved it (43173)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12791) - you deserved it (43173)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (1745)
On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (1745)
On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (1745)
On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (6910)
On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (4241)
On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14408) - you deserved it (4726)
On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14408) - you deserved it (4726)
On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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