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Offline (the 01/16/2016 at 10:32am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Waukesha, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 824
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About thejzabs : My name is Jon, I'm 19 and moving to Norway in August! And then Mazatlan Mexico in 2017! Missionary life for the win lol

thejzabs's page activity

Visits<b>rdavis32</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:18am<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:09pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:20am<b>nandybear</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:49pm<b>MissDramaQueen</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:58pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:08pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 3:07am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 7:46pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Visual_Kei_Manic</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:04am<b>khewanlala</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:05pm<b>heyyyitsmaria72</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:47pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Askud99</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:54pm<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 1:48am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 2:18am<b>sohigh10</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Andrew6499</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:03am

Fucked!<b>nandybear</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:21am<b>MissDramaQueen</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 6:57pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:15pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 12:13am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>imhope</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:13am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:50pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:49pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:28pm<b>SabrinaEpic3</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:12am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:48pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:37pm<b>kittynat</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:41am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:46am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:26am<b>feven</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:35pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:02pm

thejzabs's FML badges

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.


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thejzabs's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (3408)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (8598)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39015) - you deserved it (3847)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (9418)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40917) - you deserved it (7515)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44733) - you deserved it (4027)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51857) - you deserved it (4710)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45643) - you deserved it (6158)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63056) - you deserved it (7520)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60613) - you deserved it (7152)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51588) - you deserved it (10931)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML


I agree, your life sucks (56943) - you deserved it (9036)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (3717)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (2370)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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