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thejzabs

Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 9:10pm) | Search for a member

thejzabs

28Fucked!

thejzabsthejzabs
  • Town/Country : Waukesha, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 638
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About thejzabs : My name is Jon, I'm 19 and moving to Norway in August! And then Mazatlan Mexico in 2017! Missionary life for the win lol

thejzabs's page activity

Visits<b>Justkidding100</b> - 15 hours ago<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - 15 hours ago<b>NarutoLove</b> - yesterday at 2:18am<b>sohigh10</b> - yesterday at 4:06pm<b>Askud99</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Andrew6499</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:04pm<b>imhope</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:04pm<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:13am<b>azalerawr</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:40pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:59pm<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:04am<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:01am<b>idkbutidc</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:42am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 1:02am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:42pm<b>ethanturnbull</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 11:27pm

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - 9 hours ago<b>imhope</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:13am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:50pm<b>qdawg06</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:49pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:28pm<b>SabrinaEpic3</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:12am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:48pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 4:37pm<b>kittynat</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:41am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:46am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:26am<b>feven</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:35pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:02pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:26pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:16am<b>Askud99</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:07am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:01am

thejzabs's FML badges

Inception

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Socialite

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of thejzabs's badges

thejzabs's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (2821)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32618) - you deserved it (7723)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (3710)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (9239)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39467) - you deserved it (7298)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42896) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50879) - you deserved it (4624)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (5878)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62232) - you deserved it (7435)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59413) - you deserved it (7023)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50800) - you deserved it (10747)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55982) - you deserved it (8926)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (3635)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2313)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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