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thehappyemo's favorite FMLs
by knifewow / 10/20/2016 at 4:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 8:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML
by Anonymous / 08/02/2016 at 10:42am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work
Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML
by Crushgonewrong / 06/22/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health
by ijustwannaplaymymusic / 05/27/2016 at 12:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/19/2016 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Chin... uh.... / 05/10/2016 at 6:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML
by DieuEstUnHomme / 02/03/2016 at 10:44am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Transportation
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/30/2016 at 10:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by almost_a_pro / 04/23/2015 at 9:43am / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Miscellaneous