Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thegrealtdalton

Online | Search for a member

thegrealtdalton

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

thegrealtdalton's page activity

Visits<b>trolled11</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:46pm

thegrealtdalton's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of thegrealtdalton's badges

thegrealtdalton's favorite FMLs

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

#17307375
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (9076)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by tamponface (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

#17284232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (4797)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:51am - work - by Rick - United States (Indiana)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14094) - you deserved it (53843)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (6280)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45566) - you deserved it (6083)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (15108)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13430) - you deserved it (48337)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (6214)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50184) - you deserved it (8177)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72943) - you deserved it (15830)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (32120)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (2796)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36838) - you deserved it (12508)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (8834)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41232) - you deserved it (5368)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: