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thegrealtdalton

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thegrealtdalton

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  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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thegrealtdalton's page activity

Visits<b>trolled11</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:46pm

thegrealtdalton's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of thegrealtdalton's badges

thegrealtdalton's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36781) - you deserved it (12492)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door for him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shirt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (8650)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (5359)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52134) - you deserved it (3830)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69985) - you deserved it (6583)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48181) - you deserved it (5604)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

#14034563
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10116) - you deserved it (33092)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31258) - you deserved it (4511)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (8963)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8104) - you deserved it (22126)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14168) - you deserved it (17470)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (3581)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (2003)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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